Perfectionism can be expressed to a sword with two sharp edges. The individual wants to reach the highest positions but does not want to include mistakes in their life in any way. They firm belief that they should not make mistakes. This may seem like a positive thing at first glance by some people. However, perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be your best.
Perfectionists generally harm themselves with their actions and behaviors, but they are never aware of the damage they cause. They think that being perfect will lead to appreciation, value and love, and will be congratulated by everyone. But generally the opposite is happening. Even if they are successful, the methods they use and the behaviors they exhibit on their way to success will keep them from getting the respect and acceptance they want.
Perfectionism can be confused with the effort to do the best. The effort in order to achieve something in a healthy way will lead to the for successful results. The efforts of those who want to achieve the best are pleasurable, and they show respectful progress towards achieving their goals. Perfectionists think that mistakes should never be made. Because they believe this, they are constantly suspicious and uncomfortable even about their own actions. This will cause the effort made in this way not to be enjoyed. They are constantly in a state of doubt and stop enjoying life.
Types of Perfectionism
Setting goals that are unattainable standards is perfectionism. The individual imposes extremely high expectations on themself and never admits their mistakes and criticizes. The tendency to expect others to conform to the high standards is perfectionism towards someone else. People in this perfectionism do not want to assign a task to someone else. Even if they assign a task, they try to find various mistakes.
Social Expectations
People who are perfectionists feel compelled to reach high standards in order to gain approval from their societies. They are firmly convinced that they must make great efforts to be appreciated and that they should not make the slightest mistake. In general, they cannot control anger when they cannot achieve what they want. When they fail to meet the standards they have set, they become depressed and put up with themselves. Later, they fear being judged by others, and this situation brings social anxiety problems with it, pushing individuals to become lonely.
It seems that there are many negative beliefs that reflect perfectionism. Do not be afraid of failure is at the top of these beliefs. They feel that they have failed even the slightest mistake and suffer devastation. Fear of making mistakes and anxiety not to get approval are two other beliefs. They think that when they make mistakes, they will not be accepted by the society and they will never get approval. They cannot tolerate negative criticism and try to stay away from judgment.